New Thoughts (5/20/03-5/24/03)
As so many commentators note, Paul gives us both the negative and the positive for the image of the Christian leader. Again, I would point out that what is true of the leader in Christianity ought to be equally true of those he leads. They are no less than the characteristics which ought to be found in every one of us. Two characteristics in particular seem to stand as the summary of these images we are given. Following Paul's lead, I'll begin by considering the negative view.
In the list of negative 'anti' traits, self-will really summarizes the whole issue. Where self-will is in strong evidence, how can there be submission to God's will? What are the signs of such a self-willed man? Barnes lists several for us: arrogance - a sense of superiority which manifests in an overbearing manner; imperiousness - acting like one of high rank or achievement; dogmatic - asserting opinions with unsupportable assurance; unyielding - having no flexibility; intolerant of contrary viewpoints. This is precisely the attitude the world cultivates in men, and in recent times, also in women. It is the hallmark of the well-educated, successful man. It is the essence of the self-made. Look, even, at that phrase, 'self-made.' The very concept is a denial of the God who makes all things, the God who sustains all things.
This is precisely the problem with self-will. It leaves the wrong person at the helm. It places the control of life in the wrong hands. It trades away the perfect leadership of God, who alone is perfect in knowledge, and perfect in wisdom, for the leadership of one who sees the facts only dimly, whose planning cannot possibly take in all the contingencies of future events. Consider the chess player. As he plans out his moves, his task is to consider not only how his opponent will react to the move he contemplates, but also how he will react to that move, how that move will be reacted to, and so on down through so many subsequent actions as he can consider. And, of course, as each action is considered, there are multiple potential reactions which might occur, and so, must be evaluated. Rapidly, the number of contingencies which must be contemplated exceeds the capacity of the mind to grasp in whole.
We have been considering a change of house in our family of late. Here again, each house which is looked at (or at least most of them) bring up a list of possibilities. This house would be right if we can get the price low enough, and we can put up a fence, and so on. That house would be right if we pulled up the carpets, took down this wall, put up that wall. Another house would be fine, given opportunity to do a ton of interior work before moving in. Then the what-ifs start coming. What if we buy this one, and the economy sours even more? What if we buy that one, and find out that the driveway doesn't clear of snow as fast as we thought? What if our house won't sell for what we want? Soon, we find ourselves overwhelmed by the possibilities.
God doesn't suffer from this problem. For Him, there are no what-ifs. There is no 'whatever will be will be.' There is only certainty. There are no hidden agendas in those with whom He deals, for He can see the thoughts of man as readily as we can see the table before us.
Self-will refuses the leadership of this One of perfect knowledge, and insists on doing its best to sort through the myriad what-ifs on its own. Inevitably, self-will will make mistakes. Overwhelmed by the possibilities, it is bound to resort to snap decisions on this matter and that in an attempt to get the range of options back down to something manageable. It will take action for no further reason than that it cannot stand to wait any longer, thinking over all that could occur.
Self-will, Calvin tells us, is the spirit of solitude and isolation. Isn't this exactly what one will be driven to by this need to constantly assess all the options and plot one's own course? People are variables in the equations the self-willed must solve. They are uncontrollable wildcards whose actions we cannot know. How better to reduce the disruption they might cause than by keeping them at a distance? If we remain alone, work alone, there is less possibility that their actions might make void all our careful planning!
But this is expressly not the nature of a leader. How can one lead who cannot accept the presence of those he leads? How can one lead who cannot account for the actions those he leads might take? How can those led trust themselves to one whose leadership is so suspect? It cannot be, and yet in many ways, we do this every day. We don't know the real capabilities of our corporate or national leaders. We know only what they reveal to us, and what their visible history says of them. In looking on this public record, it's easy for us to forget that even the best of leaders, insomuch as he leads by his own ability, is weak and imperfect. Even the wisest of men will make mistakes in their own wisdom. Solomon did, and there has never been another like him.
This is how pastors are set up for failure by their congregations. The church they lead begins to look upon them as infallible leaders, always led perfectly by the Spirit, and incapable of error. Ask the membership, and they will surely deny it, but the attitude is there nonetheless. If this is not corrected, such an atmosphere of blind, absolute, irrational trust cannot help but impact the self-image of the pastor. If all around him are declaring his perfections, he cannot but begin thinking himself as perfect as others declare him to be. It's a setup! Here is a pastor elevated beyond all reason, and left standing on the edge of a crumbling cliff. His fall is all but certain.
What can be done? First and foremost, prayer. Prayers of the congregation for their leadership, prayers of the leadership for their own leadership. Secondly, no Christian leader ought to lead in isolation. We are God's army, and like any army, there must be a chain of command. Each and every pastor ought to have a higher authority over him, providing a checking force upon any straying he might do. Secondly, God's governance provides for an advisory function amongst those the pastor serves. It may be an actual office in the church. The purpose of this office is not unlike that of the overseeing authority. Although they may not be able to force corrective action, they can give sound counsel if they see something going awry. If their counsel goes unheeded, they can certainly turn to the covering authority to rectify the situation more forcefully. Finally, there's the congregation at large. Even if there is no official advisory office, the congregation that is fulfilling its own duties in Christ will be fully capable of offering sound counsel, of resolving lesser issues, and of pursuing the resources of authoritative intervention where necessary.
How is the congregation prepared for this task? By their own prayer, by their own studying of the Word of God, by taking to heart the lessons of the Gospel. They must train themselves not to a point of skepticism when hearing the Word preached, but certainly to a point of verifying the message against sound doctrine. They must devote sufficient time to have a base of sound doctrine with which to verify the message. They must be willing to sacrifice the time and energy required to consider each teaching in the light of what is already known and understood. They must be capable of determining whether each new piece fits the picture or not.
Further, the congregation is empowered in the selection process of the pastor who is to lead them. In some churches, this power may lie solely in the member's ability to stay or depart, but however it may be implemented, the power is theirs. How are they to select their pastor? Precisely on the qualities Paul is listing for us here. Notice! This requires more than a passing acquaintance with the one who is to lead. It requires examination not only of the man, for he may be able to hide his true nature sufficiently to keep us well-pleased with his apparent ways. No, we must also examine the family of the man, for that family is the clearer revelation of the interior ways of the one we consider.
How does he handle his family? The same can be expected in his handling of the church. Does he tend towards shouting down his wife, towards ignoring his wife? Does he simply set his course with little or no thought and then pursue that course like a bulldog, unwilling and unable to let go, however hopeless may be the outcome? What of his children? How is their behavior? Do they also follow Christ? Do they show signs of loving obedience, or do they show signs of smoldering rebellion? Is the wife free in offering her opinions, or does she, by keeping her own counsel, show that her opinions are not valued by her husband? On the other side of the issue, is she herself imperious in demanding her own ways? These things will tell us much about the one we truly consider. If the reflections of the man seen in his own actions, and in the ways of those habitually associated with him, show him to be governed by his passions, rather than governor over his passions, he must be seen as unfit to govern the church.
On the positive side of the equation, we are shown the trait of loving what is good. Consider some of the definitions we have seen for this: Doing good even to the point of self-denial; not only liking to be kind, but also doing good; going being sympathetic feelings and taking action. This is what we are to be looking for in the leadership candidate. This is what we are to be looking for in ourselves. What will we do when our needs conflict with the needs of those we are given charge over? What will we do when our desires cannot seemingly be satisfied while still handling the needs of these we should care for? Can we let go of our own ends, and allow God's purposes to be our own?
Lord, there's no denying that You are searching me in this moment and in this question. If this is what must be then, yes, I will set aside the plans I have been pursuing in favor of pursuing a more healthy means of transport for my family. They are the ones You have placed in my charge, and truly I've done less well than I could in leading them. Lord, I ask Your forgiveness, and I seek Your change in me, Your working in me, that I might do better at this task.
With regards to this matter of a new house, Father, I place it firmly in Your hands. If I have been, no, where I have been self-willed in this pursuit I need also to seek Your forgiveness. Your word has reminded me this morning of what is right and true: If we have food and shelter, this is enough and we are content. Indeed, You feed us amazingly well, my Lord, and shall I complain of it? You have blessed us with this wonderful home, a home which has served us so very well. Lord, in this, too, I will thank You. I will also express my desires with regard to increasing the space and opportunity for ministry to occur in our house. I will express my desires to see my wife given the space to show the hospitality she wants to show. I will express our joint desire to be able to better take in those whom You bring across our path. I will also confess to You, my God, my desire to simply be able to stretch out a bit, to have more space in which to move, both inside and out.
You know, my Lord, the place which has so captured my attention. You know, my Lord, how it seems just out of reach. Father, if the plans and desires I hold at present are not Your desires as well, if I am deceiving myself with my reasons, then keep this out of reach. Give me clear direction to cease and desist, and I will as gladly remain in this place where You have me. If, however, this is the direction You would have me to head, if this is indeed the greatest good which Your hand is preparing for me and for those in my charge, give to me equally clear direction, that I may pursue the course of Your choosing whatever Your choice might be.
In the meantime, my God, give me the grace to care for my family's needs more than my own, to live sacrificially as You also lived. I pray for an impartation of grace, that I will evidence no frustration, and that the evidence will be a reflection of my true condition. I pray, Lord, that through this whole exercise, even if nothing else shall come of it, You would work Your molding effect on my character. Though the molding may hurt, though the necessary change may not come by pleasant ways, yet I know that what You are molding is wonderful, what change You are bringing is the best change. I thank You for choosing to make me one of Your masterpieces, Lord. It's nothing in me that attracts You, I know. I am but one lump of clay among many, yet choose me You have. I am honored to be under Your molding touch, and I bless You for that touch upon me. May Your work in me be swiftly accomplished!
The love of good that is to be the hallmark of the Christian should transcend the boundaries set in place by our modern denominationalism. It should transcend the boundaries set in place by nationality and race. All of these boundaries are the implementations of men. In God's sight, there is but one humanity and one nation. And, no, that nation is not America, it's the kingdom which He has given His Son. Amidst that humanity, there are but two groups. There are those who joyfully declare their citizenship in the kingdom God has established, and there are those who seek to take that kingdom into their own hands, to usurp the rightful King and take His place. There are only loyal subjects and rebels. There are no neutral parties in this.
Amongst the loyalists, many ethnic strains are present. We may see it in racial traits, we may see it in matters of habit and custom. We may see it, but He sees through it and past it. In all these ethnic strains, He sees one common heritage, as all descended from one common ancestor. He sees, also, one common destiny, as all have been called to the kingdom of His Son, all have heard the invitation to come, and have joyfully acceded to the desire expressed. We have all heard the pronouncements of our citizenship with rejoicing. For the most part, we have also known the part of the rebel, though there may be a few who have been loyalists from the start. No, that's a bit misleading. Even the most loyal citizen of this heavenly kingdom has known his moments of rebellion while walking the earth. There is none without sin. It may be forgotten, it may have been very brief, yet it was there beyond doubt.
We walk the earth in imperfection. Though we know the land we seek and we know the King of that land, yet we know both imperfectly. We have been taught, but we have been taught only as we are able to learn. We have been shown wonders beyond our own comprehension, truth be told. Yet, by His grace, He has made the incomprehensible to be comprehended, through the working of the Holy Spirit within us. Yet, even that comprehension, though guided by a perfect Guide, remains imperfect.
It is this very imperfection of knowledge that has brought about the differences of belief in the Church today. We may strongly disagree with some of the things our brother in Christ holds to be true. We may see implications in his beliefs that cause us to shudder, yet which he does not see implicit in those beliefs. The same may very well be true of him! The divide between reformed, Calvinist belief, and the beliefs of those who follow more after the thinking of Armenius may be the most stark example of these differences. Absolutely, the issues of debate between these two systems of understanding are important. Assuredly they are! Yet, neither camp in the debate can claim, in the end, to hold the answer with absolute certainty. Both camps are headed by and peopled by citizens of heaven who, like every other citizen of heaven still on this earth, know only in part.
It is healthy for there to be discussions over these differences. It is healthy to hold fast to that which our studies have given us great cause to believe with all confidence. It is, however, most unhealthy to hold that fast to a belief which we have not taken time to search out. The questions that divide Christianity are not easy questions. The answers are not obvious. Were they obvious, there would be no question. These are hard matters requiring hard thought. Those who have considered them over the centuries were not foolish and divisive men, yet some have reached one answer and some the other.
For us, then, it remains to earnestly pursue the question, to resolve it to the best of our ability by diligent attention to God's word, by earnest prayer to the Holy Spirit, our Teacher, and by seeking out the best understanding of those who have pursued these questions before us. We dare not entirely shut out one side of the matter. We must seek out the best information we can gain, that the Holy Spirit will have at His disposal the best array of tools to show us what is right and good and true. I have seen this process in action. There have been things I thought to be true when I was new in the faith. Some of these things, as I have grown, I have had cause to question. God, I have learned, does not fear my questions. He actually, I think, rather enjoys them, for the represent a teachable moment in me. Where these questions have been pursued, I have occasionally been surprised to find myself coming out of my lessons firmly confident that what I used to think was the answer was not the answer at all. The wonderful part of this is, that doubt is gone, because the work has been put in to hear God's own answer on the matter.
This can lead to a problem, I suppose. These others who have looked at this same question, some of them have come to the exact opposite conclusion. Are they, then, somewhat less holy than I? Are they just not as bright? Did they not put in sufficient effort? Or is it me? Did I miss something? I don't know how to answer this. I do know that to every question above, the answer is 'no.' I know beyond doubting that there is only one Truth, that where opinions differ one at most can be correct. I know, also, that my God is beyond our ability to comprehend completely. His ways are above our ways, and His thoughts beyond our thoughts. Why, then, does the God of all truth appear to lead some of His children to one understanding and some to another? I don't know. I do know that believers in both groups love Him dearly, serve Him as best they know how, and are doubtless His true children.
Can it be that the whole purpose of this divisiveness amongst us is to perfect our ability to love past the differences? The love of good should transcend all boundaries. Where there is good in the Armenian, the Calvinist ought rejoice. Where there is good in the Calvinist, the Armenian ought to rejoice. Where there is a genuine love of God and of righteousness, every man who loves God ought to rejoice. Can we debate our differences? Sure. Dare we to vilify the beliefs of our equally earnest brother in the process? I think not.
What I have seen happen is that those of one belief system have but a weak understanding of the opposing view. Indeed, what they think that opposing doctrine professes is likely but a caricature of what is truly professed. It is much like the misunderstandings that arose around Paul's gospel of grace. Sinful men looked upon it, and could see nothing but grace as permission to sin. Before long, they allowed their perverse view to be Paul's words, and so, accused him of things that had no basis. The same happens today, even amongst the earnest seekers of God. They hear only the reports of those who share their views, and the message of those with other views comes to them distorted beyond recognition. These distortions lead them to mount vicious attacks against a truly evil lie, yet the lie their attacks are misguided. They aim their attacks at the other camp's doctrine, when the lie is not in that doctrine but in the distorted report of it which has reached them. In this case, it may really be wiser to shoot the messenger, for he has been unfaithful in delivering the message. He has borne false witness.
We must come to the point of recognizing what is good and righteous in those of other denominations, and we must seek understanding with them, rather than competition with them. We must recognize that our brothers, though they may think differently than ourselves, are no less earnest in their pursuit of God, no less diligent in their study of His word, no less likely to be found walking the streets of heaven as eternity unfolds. We must refuse to hear the description of their doctrine that comes from 'our camp.' We really ought to seek out the best efforts they can put forth in defending their views and presenting their understanding. It is from these that we should seek to understand their doctrine, and it is with these that we should examine our own. To do less is to hold our doctrine as more important than God's truth. To do less is to love our own opinions above the goodness of God.
Calvin writes, "A bishop will never teach well, who is not also ready to learn." Surely this must include a willingness to hear out those who disagree. Obviously, there are many matters of doctrine on which no debate is possible. Even in those, I would submit, though debate is possible, we need still to hear the voices of the opposition. We need to hear, but not with an ear towards making certain of our own beliefs, but so as to be respectful towards all people as Scripture requires, to understand those we would correct, and to be better equipped to bring correction in a fashion fit to the case. In its way, this is what was being done in the early church councils, and in the establishing of the creeds. The creeds were statements of basic facts of faith, not subject to further argument or debate, facts which to deny would be to deny Christianity itself. Here, there is little for the teacher to learn, except how best to bring understanding to the one being heard.
In other cases, hearing must be a more bidirectional process. Again, we must be willing to hold Truth higher than our present understanding, to respect those who have, like us, sought to know that Truth, and to accept graciously the need to adjust our doctrine as Truth reveals the defects in our understanding. Never are we to open ourselves up to an acceptance of new things because they are new. Never are we to accept claims of new revelation. However, much of what divides us today is not new things, but old matters, hard matters. Here, we should be willing to learn even when we have learned much, to accept our limitations, and to recognize that we may not be right after all. In matters as great as God and His ways, we must forever recognize that the Truth is greater than we know.
In first viewing this passage, I noted the five 'sliders' of character presented to us. Now, I would revise that image such that the first slider, "Focus," is an overall indicator, with all the others as fine tuning beneath, like so:
Focus
Self ----------------------------------------- Others
Temper Preferences
Quick ------------ Slow Sin ---------------- Good
Actions Motivation
Violent --------- Sensible Profit ----------------- Justice
The opportunity remains for a self-check, to hear the voice of our Teacher grading us on our present standing. Simply reduce it to that main one. How's the focus doing? Am I still caught up in my own wants, needs, and interests, or am I learning to tune my ears and my attention more to what others are going through, what others need from the moment? Am I seeking out ways to help them, or am I too busy helping myself? Truthfully, I'm sure that slider is constantly in motion. From moment to moment, as each new situation unfold, I know it moves more towards one pole or another. The events of life present us with a continual opportunity not only to consider where our sliders are set, but also to adjust the settings by our actions. How much better that slider would look if we could see it before us each moment of the day. How much better we would like the settings, if we could see each motion of that slider in real time, and adjust ourselves accordingly. For, indeed, the slider is not so much a control upon us, as it is a reflection of our own self-control.
In seeking to improve that reflection, we will do far better to consider the good at which we aim than we will to allow our focus to be on the things we aim to leave behind. It's hard to navigate with your back to the road ahead. Whatever is honorable, right, pure, and lovely, whatever is reputable, excellent, and praiseworthy, think constantly upon these things (Philippians 4:8). Why, Paul? Simply because as the mind and the heart keep these things in mind, they keep the goal before them. When we allow ourselves to slip into contemplating all that's wrong with us, with the world, with our situation, when all we see are life's problems, we have largely turned our backs to the goal, and can no longer see our course. No, we cannot in good conscience ignore the sorrows that surround us, but even as we seek to be active in doing good amidst that sorrow, our hearts and minds cannot be upon the sorrow, but must be dwelling upon the Balm of Gilead Whom we bring to bear upon that sorrow. Otherwise, we will soon be overwhelmed by the very sorrow we seek to relieve. We must weep with those who weep, but ever with an eye towards bringing them to the place where we can also rejoice with their rejoicing.
Lord, I suppose I ought to note here the answer You have sent to me regarding yesterday's prayer. How close I was, my God, to not seeing You in that answer! I asked You for a clarity of direction for us as my family contemplates a new home, and You! You bring our neighbor to me, telling me her daughter is interested in our house, should we still be looking to move! You are just so awesome! Father God, I continue to keep this whole thing before You for Your decision and Your guidance. That house which has captured our hearts still seems an impossible dream. Yet, if it is in Your plan for this family, then surely all things are possible! I leave it with You, my God. I am content so long as I am where You desire me to be. We proceed as we are able to pursue this impossible dream, but we proceed knowing full well that it's in Your hands, and glad we are that this is the case! My God, if You have placed this house before as a new territory for us to occupy, then let it come to pass. If it is only our eyes and our flesh getting carried away, then keep us from this thing! I have heard Your message of yesterday. The move is coming. But, if this is not the place, reveal to us the place You would have us to go, and let us be underway. Just so long as You come with us!
Holiness and justness are to describe the Christian, whether leader or not. These two characteristics sum up the man of God. The one reflects our relationship with God, Calvin writes. The other addresses our treatment of our fellow men. Thus, in the character we are to display, we can see that the demands of the Law are not made null and void for us in this age of grace. Christ did not come to abolish the Law, after all, but to fulfill its demands. In that, He did what no other man had ever done, and what no other has done since. He kept the Law perfectly, not only doing what it required, but doing it from a heart that rejoiced in the goodness it promoted. The Law that Jesus fulfilled breaks down into two general categories: our duty towards God, and our duty towards men. Holiness and justice are the characteristics of one who fulfills those duties. The Law, then, is not to be ignored. It remains the standard for our behavior. It remains the best guidance for our lives. It remains the Law of God, and not only the rules remain in effect, but also the punishments prescribed therein.
Now, if anybody is reading this, there will doubtless be a good number who will be jumping over that statement, seeing the signs of heresy. Bear with me, though. The Law, I say, both as the definition of good and bad, and as the punishment of bad, stands unchanged, just as the Author of that Law stands unchanged. The penalty for sin remains death, and the definition of sin remains the same as it always has been - disobedience of God's Law. What, then, has changed? The only change is that, for the Christian, the one to whom God in His sovereign mercy has chosen to bestow the gracious gift of faith, the penalty phase of the trial is over, the fines due to the court of heaven have been paid.
Christ died to pay for our sins. He had lived in perfect obedience to the Law of God, and yet He paid most fully the penalty of disobedience declared in that Law. The courts of heaven have accepted His payment of the fines on our behalf. We will still face the judgment seat of God, for it is appointed to each one of us to die, and then comes the judgment. It will come. We will hear the charges levied against us by the opened account of our own lives. We will know the shame and embarrassment of every foolish and vile act we have sought to hide in darkness. All that has been hidden will surely be revealed. However, even in the midst of that sorrow and shame, even as we are forced, once and for all, to see ourselves for what we truly are, we will see at our side our Advocate at court. Indeed, He and the Judge are the same man, but what a difference in the visage! As judge, He must surely frown upon our record. Indeed, as the pure and holy God who cannot bear to look upon sin, His revulsion at our deeds must be clear upon His face. He must surely look away from us, and what terror that ought to strike in our hearts!
But even as we hang our head in sorrow, we will see Him again out of the corner of our eyes, and the difference in that glimpse must spark hope in us once more. For then we see our Advocate, standing at our side. Then, we are reminded that the penalty has already been paid for us. He holds in His hands, robes of righteousness - His own righteousness - with which He beckons us to clothe ourselves. On legs shaking at the overwhelming events around us, we comply with His direction, and lo! The whole atmosphere of the courtroom is changed! The judge once more returns His sight to us, and sees not our sinful flesh, but the righteousness of His Son, His Self. His justice requires our answer, yet, to the charges against us. He looks upon us and asks, "How do you plead to these charges?" Lest we forget, and answer out of despair, our Advocate speaks in our ears, reminding us of the glorious truth of our hope. We answer the Judge. "I plead the blood of Jesus, which has paid the full penalty due the court for my crimes." So, in the courts of heaven, it is declared that justice has been served and we, who were truly guilty have declared in good standing with the heavenly administration, all debts paid. And now, clothed in this new righteousness our dear Lord has given us, we are finally able to comply with those Laws in full, even as He did.
Oh, precious hope! Oh, glorious gift of Christ! Is it any wonder that all heaven rejoices to see each occasion in which a soul receives the gift of Your mercy! What wonder there will be in the heavens in that day, to see the full scope of Your great mercy, justice, and love revealed in one moment! What joys await Your people with that judgment passed, and an eternity of lawful living ahead, an eternity of true liberty, freed from every last taint of sin, freed to be the obedient citizens of heaven we have ever longed to be! Even so, Lord! As You have declared, so let it be!
As I said, though, the penalties of the Law, the curse of the Law as Scripture calls it, remains fully in effect. It is simply that the effect has already been fully felt in the case of the Christian. For the rest, it remains a thing to be faced, and faced eternally. It is for this reason that Felix was so panicked by hearing Paul's message. In Acts 24:24-25, we read of Felix' visit with Paul. Paul was speaking about faith in Christ Jesus. He was displaying the gospel of hope, the good news of God's gracious gift of His Son, by which (and only by which), man could hope to be saved. But all that caught Felix's ears was the continuing requirements of righteousness and self-control. He was married to a Jewess. He had doubtless heard the strictures of God's Law. He was familiar with the requirements laid out in that Law, and he was honest enough with himself to see how very far he was from meeting those requirements. He was an administrator of law, himself. Doubtless, professional curiosity had led him to consider not only the righteous requirements of that Law, but also the system of penalties laid out therein. He knew his own life was not in compliance with this Law of God, and he knew the penalty for noncompliance was death. He knew what he deserved. Therefore, when Paul broached the subject of judgment, all Felix could hear was a pronouncement of his own doom. He completely missed the message of the Gospel, the announcement of our sweet Advocate in that court of final justice. He was shaken to the core. It scared him to recognize the truth of his condition, and there was no voice of Comfort speaking in his ear to calm his fears. He knew only the certainty of his end, and this he could not long face. So he sent Paul away, to be heard, perhaps, another time.
How many are like that still today? How many are presented with the hope of the Gospel, and walk away from it having heard nothing but the pronouncement of their certain doom? How many times have I heard an unbeliever declare himself too far gone, bound with certainty for an eternity in hell? Is it any wonder we have come to fear death so much? Is it any wonder that there are such violent reactions to news of the coming King? When all that is heard is the message of justice, all men must surely despair. It is only when that message is accompanied by news of mercy, a pronouncement of reprieve, that we can possibly hear the news with gladness.
What makes the difference? Did Felix simply refuse to accept the message? Was it a matter of his stubborn rejection of the gift God was placing in his hands? I really don't think so, not directly, anyway. All I see in Felix is that his ears were not opened to the message laid out before him. He heard truth, but not the whole truth. He heard what was said, but not all that was said. He accepted that which he heard as truth. But his ears and his heart heard only the charges laid up against him, and the certainty of judgment to come. There was no word in his heart of the Advocate who had paid that penalty. There was no mercy whispered into his spirit, so the truth brought only fear. He did not reject the truth he heard. He did not rebel against the charges he saw laid out against himself. He did not deny the facts of his case. He heard the gospel, but where the Spirit of God is not sent in His mercy to open the ears of those who hear, the gospel is no longer a message of hope and a promise, but rather a message of certain and inescapable justice.
Father, seeing this, I must give thanks once more to You for choosing to open these ears to the whole truth! I have known those, my God, who cannot hear the mercy for the judgment. I have known those who were fully assured of their eternal damnation, and spent their lives seeking to hide from that knowledge. These are the things that lead a man to drink, my God. It is a terrible thing, You have said, to fall into the hands of the living God. Indeed, but for Your great mercy, I should be horrified to consider the judgment that must come. Even knowing Your mercy, I long for the time when that judgment has come and passed. I cannot imagine the man who would rejoice to see that day on the horizon, who would be pleased to hear the full record of his life read out before him. But, happy indeed can I imagine the man who has received of Your wonderful mercy to know that judgment day done, the slate wiped clean, and the need for wiping over! God! Your ways are so amazing! That You have arranged for such a future for me, how can I but wonder at that! I may never understand Your choice of me, I may never understand why You have left others to their own fate, as it were. Yet, I know this: You are good, and all Your ways are holy and righteous and true.
Oh, my heart, rejoice to know the goodness of your God! Sing of His wonders! Pulse in the life He freely gives to you! Oh, my soul, rejoice to know His mercy! Run strong, my flesh, towards the goal He has set before you. Strain ever forward, then, towards the day when we can enter the home He has prepared, run with courage, knowing your God is ever near! Bless the Lord, oh my soul! Bless Him in every minute, in every circumstance, in every ounce of your strength! For He has done great things, and He does them still!
